Blurbotron

I have read that, and will read it again, and then have a close friend explain the larger words to me.-Jack Neary, playwright

Tempus Fugit

Oyez

Lynne Rosetto Kaspar tells me to trust my instincts, for some reason

I was ashamed to tell her that it was my common sense that suggested I just put the whole lemon rind in there in the first [...]

My windshield is anointed by God

God showed His face to my windshield, and by extension, me, today, indicating that He has great plans for us both.

I have not received a parking ticket in the City of Los Angeles since January 12, 2009. It was Chinatown. I didn’t contest it.

“Forget it, Marty,” I said, echoing Boz Scaggs. “It’s Chi-town.”

The Many Colors of Angus Scrimm or: You Can Learn A Lot from a Tall Man

Because I travel in elite circles, I managed to get Angus Scrimm to write something appropriate on my copy of “Phantasm.”

Nothing’s gonna change my world

Today, a month and 30 days after my fortieth birthday, I realize that, when I go, it is getting more unlikely that people will say, “He was too young.” Instead, they will say, “I guess it was about goddamn [...]

The End Times Are At Hand

I will be dismantling and rebooting MartyBarrett.com in the next few weeks. What does that mean to you?

Fogelfoot at Fais Do Do

For my upcoming extra large birthday party at Los Angeles’ Club Fais Do Do on Sunday, November 22, I have enlisted the services of Fogelfoot, the only band listed on the Periodic Table of the Elements and the only band to fully utilize the potential of the Baritone Horn in a rock setting.

The event is [...]

I'm only happy when it rains

Los Angeles can be so ungrateful. Just weeks after the the city nearly burned down, the rain that usually waits until, at the earliest, Halloween arrived in amounts that anywhere else would seem innocuous.

And people were angry about it.

Life Cycles, pt. II: Human kickstand

When I was 9 I found my kickstand rotting off; it seemed to have crept under my bicycle. I asked my brother John to fix it.

“There’s two types of people in the world, Mart,” he said, using an abbreviation of my name that means shop or store. “People who need kickstands and people who don’t.”

I [...]