--6.29.2008--June 29: Delivering the Bomb All That Jaws is languishing while its music director tours Italy, but today is June 29, a very significant day in Jaws folklore, even if it shouldn't be.Check The Jaws Blog for more. Labels: "all that jaws", geekery posted
by Marty Barrett at Sunday, June 29, 2008
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--6.20.2008--Current Favorite SongTM: Spoon's "The Underdog" posted
by Marty Barrett at Friday, June 20, 2008
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--6.19.2008--How to sell me stolen property I work in an office building full of well-heeled and industrious businesspeople. My office, in fact, is the worst-heeled among them. We play the radio loud, we swear, we keep unconventional hours, there's all sorts of characters around.But years of working for the Man and a natural inclination to avoid conflict have instilled in me a sense of Good Customer Service. The other day as I was eating lunch a guy in sunglasses walked in to my office suite and started talking. He had a catalog folded open to a page with stereo speakers on it. "I've got this whole system and I'll give it to you for $290," he said. "This piece, this piece, these pieces ... " Up until then I thought he was some Hollywood weasel (wearing sunglasses inside) coming to visit my Hollywood weasel-wannabe officemates. But he had some stolen speakers to sell me. "Hold on a second," I said. "Who are you?" He said his name was Jim. I asked him for his card. "I don't have a card," he said, and then uttered the Best Line Ever. "If I had cards, I wouldn't be able to give you such a good deal." At no time did either of us say out loud that this potential transaction involved stolen property, and it was only in that regard that Jim succeeded as a salesman. I am not averse to receiving stolen property. As a carnivore, I feel like I receive stolen property every day. Unless the cow, chicken, little baby cow, horse, pig, dog, cat, or Soylent willingly says "Hack me up for meat," I am receiving stolen property in my mouth. So it wasn't the provenance I was worried about, it was the presentation.
He said, "For you, I'll give them to you for $190 right now, cash."
Then he uttered the Second Best Line. "Well, do you know a Korean guy on the second floor?" he asked. "He said to come by his office when I saw him outside." "We're in Koreatown," I said.
Labels: consumer, customer service, work posted
by Marty Barrett at Thursday, June 19, 2008
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--6.18.2008--Havlicek stole the pillow So what if I only watch sports during playoffs? It's better than when I was younger, when the type of people who played sports were the type of people I avoided, along with people who drank. Now my life has changed, and I actively distrust people who don't drink.Here is Harrison after the Celtics' 131 to 92 rout of the Lakers. The kid's exhausted. I don't know what to do with my free time now that the Finals and Battlestar Galactica are over. I think I'll have to replace that reading lamp I broke with a golf club when I was drunk. See also: "Havlicek stole the ball" Labels: boston, los angeles, sports, tot posted
by Marty Barrett at Wednesday, June 18, 2008
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--6.12.2008--Battlestar Garnettica I'm uncomfortable with the amount of appointment television I'm watching this week.Labels: boston, geekery, los angeles, sports posted
by Marty Barrett at Thursday, June 12, 2008
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--6.10.2008--Big Brown to help decide NBA Finals Because we are the same height, people often mistake me for Kobe Bryant. I have decided that I will root for the Lakers when they are in town and for the Celtics when they are at the Garden; this is the only way to keep from going nuts, and this means that the Celtics will win it in Boston.I found the following poem scrawled on the subway wall: I managed a frown when Big Brown let me down (I might have scrawled it.) Labels: boston, los angeles, poetry, sports posted
by Marty Barrett at Tuesday, June 10, 2008
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--6.05.2008--Engineers: No, greased lightning Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has determined that the 51-mile Los Angeles River is mostly unnavigable, leading to fears that developers will use this as an excuse to flout environmental restrictions.But anyone who has seen Grease, Terminator 2, and The Transformers knows that the L.A. River is an excellent shortcut past jammed city streets, whether for racing, apprehending Bumblebee, or tracking down a teenaged John Connor prior to his valor in The Robot Wars. Regulators and conservationists...believe the ripple effect of the decision will make is easier to develop large areas of the Santa Susana, Santa Monica and San Gabriel mountains because landowners will not be required to obtain certain federal permits. Some federal and state officials fear that the decision also may undermine rules against discharging wastewater and storm water into the river's tributaries.Corps regional supervisor Col. Thomas H. Magness IV told the L.A. Times that, just because The Terminator was able to drive an 18-wheeler down a half-mile stretch of the concrete-surfaced waterway, doesn't mean time-traveling cyborg warriors could battle throughout the 834-sq. mile watershed. "This decision does not in any way lessen the protections on the L.A. River itself," he said. Tell that to Megatron. See also: U.S. Army Corps of Engineers confirms non-navigable status for most of L.A. River (latimes) Labels: los angeles, news, pop, waterways posted
by Marty Barrett at Thursday, June 05, 2008
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