Airport Extreme Makeover
 I felt the need to contribute to the growing collection of Airport Extreme reviews, because what if those other 30,000 websites get busted for sodomy?
On a given day I might have seven computers running in my office, each of which needs an Internet connection. I've got a mixed network of wired and wireless PCs and Macs, all used for constant web-surfing and shared music and video files.
I've got a DSL connection with SBC/Yahoo/AT&T/PacBell/Halliburton. It's clocking at about 2.2 MBps for downloads because I am about 3,000 feet away from a trunk. It is what it is, and I console myself with the other benefits the location offers.
My first wireless hub was Apple's graphite Airport base station, which I bought in 2001 and which is still in use in my sister's house in Washington. I bought the faster Airport Express for my home and hooked it up to a Linksys router. My wife's PC is connected by ethernet to the router, but she uses the Airport Express to play music on the stereo via AirTunes. Meanwhile, I use the Express to connect to the Internet when I bring my computer home.
Because of my satisfaction with Linksys products in the past (I bought them for every company I was the IT Director for), I decided to get the Linksys WRT54GS V. 6 for my office.
This model was like the one I had at home with one difference: it also broadcast wirelessly. So I could connect four wired computers to it and also get on the Internet wirelessly with my laptops. I wouldn't have to buy another Airport Express or another Airport Extreme base station, both of which were more expensive, though cooler looking.
I'd purchased a TV several years ago from Best Buy that had a tracking problem. Best Buy wouldn't take it back, but insisted that I take it to several local repair services, each of which claimed to have fixed it, but didn't. I finally got Sharp to fix it, and they did it quickly and well. I resolved to never buy anything at Best Buy again.
 So I got the Linksys WRT54GS at the Best Buy in Los Feliz, took it to the office, and proceeded to hook it up. Linksys tends to provide documentation for its products as if no one uses Macintoshes. This is usually easy to get around, but in this case I was finding that I could not keep two computers on the Internet simultaneously for more than five minutes at a time.
So I called a Linksys operator in the Phillipines and we changed some settings and he was very friendly and we talked about how Magellan brought Christianity to his country and my computers were on the Internet for ten minutes and I was very happy and he said that he hoped Jesus would continue to bless me.
I hung up, wrote a nice letter to Linksys Support about my customer service experience, sent the letter, and then my computers went offline.
I had work to do, so I just plugged my computer back into the DSL modem.
I called Linksys the next day, again was routed to Manila (because I wasn't being routed here), changed a few settings, explained that I was worried I would only be online for another ten minutes after I hung up the phone, upgraded the firmware, and hung up. Once again I lost connectivity after about ten minutes.
I plugged my computer back into the DSL modem and worked that way for a week, then I found my Best Buy receipt and decided I'd give Linksys one more try. This time I got India.
In the past week there was yet another firmware upgrade, so we tried that.
I have been trained to keep my expectations low in most consumer areas, but I was frustrated.
I was calmed, however, by the fact that each support technician already knew my case and didn't waste time going through procedures I'd already tried. Each one tried something different.
The end result was the same, however: the Linksys WRT54GS didn't work. "Your unit is defective," the Linksys representative said.
"No, your unit is defective," I replied.
I went back to Best Buy expecting the worst. I'd already thrown out the box. I didn't bring the supplied ethernet cord or the software back. I know it didn't matter, but I still anticipated a hard time.
"Do you want to exchange this for another one?" the bored kid at the busy Returns desk asked.
"Hells no," I said. He said OK and gave me cash.
The lesson I learned was that I probably should have have demanded to bring my TV back to the store a few years ago and just picked up a replacement or got a refund. I probably didn't do it because the TV (which I still have) weighs 105 lbs. and I had a two-door Saturn at the time.
Anyway, unless it's a DVD or a Monster cable or something - something under $50 - I'm not shopping at Best Buy again. Every larger-ticket item I get there ends up sucking.
 So it was the end of February and the new Airport Extreme was out. The big difference between this one and its predecessors is that the new version has three ethernet ports as well as its 802.11n (backwards-compatible to 802.11g) wireless broadcast capability. It also has a USB port into which you can plug a printer or a hard drive and share them across a network.
(I'm wondering if you can plug a powered USB hub into the AE and share both a hard disk and a printer.)
Setup was quick and painless. Wireless speed is slightly slower than wired speed, but even seven machines accessing the web at the same time and sharing files do not amount to a significant slowdown. I'm very satisfied (though it wouldn't have killed Apple to incorporate AirTunes into this new base station; at $180, they could have).
I am feeling a little itchy to get a new computer. I am noticing my 2004 PowerBook slowing down, and that people are attracted to tripping over its power cord. The new MacBook is much faster and has that excellent magnetic Cremaster function with its power cord.
So my router is the newest piece of technology I have in a gently aging network (I also have a pre-video iPod and a 450 MHZ iMac G3). It's like putting a GPS and DVD player in my 1973 Mercury Montego.
See also: Here is a much more comprehensive and objective report from a colleague (but hey, he got paid to write it) with comments that address AE's lack of gigabit ethernet (gizmodo.com)Labels: apple, commerce, faulty technology
Cheney busted on technicality
 It appears from this news clipping from a Michigan paper that, since there is no real law against being Satan, the Vice President was hauled in for having relations with a dead dog.
Michigan's Bay City Times posted this article about Ronald E. Kuch, a man charged under the state's existing sodomy law for a tryst with a dead dog behind a daycare center, next to a photo of Dick Cheney after the latter's escape from a Taliban suicide bomber.
Kuch was charged with sodomy because there's nothing on Michigan's books about what a man and a dead dog (who love each other very much) can or cannot do.
Kuch's attorney, Kathryn Fehrman, argued that a dead dog is not an animal and therefore cannot be violated against its will. I agree. I believe a dead dog is actually a desk.
Cheney used similar logic when he said that waterboarding was not torture. It's just "a dunk in water," he said.
I asked the article's author, Crystal Harmon, if the juxtaposition of Cheney and Kuch's story mightn't have been accidental.
She responded:
We don't post photos with our stories...the website guys who work for our chain in Ann Arbor, I believe, post photos for each of our 7 papers in Michigan, and the local stories that run alongside them are unrelated. I have heard from a couple people who found this amusing, though. See also: Judge says local suspect will stand trial for sodomy; Rum, Sodomy, & the LashLabels: found, news
Tearing that hotel down, contextually
 The Grand Funk Railroad (on Naboo, Grand Moff Railroad) song "We're an American Band" has once again fallen under the white-hot laser focus of critical scrutiny.
The song details the band's exploits on the road, particularly in hotels in Little Rock and Omaha.
"These fine ladies," GFR drummer Don Brewer sings, "They had a plan. They was out to meet the boys in the band."
Two vocal camps have different interpretations of the following line, describing revels after a performance.
"Feelin' good, feelin' right; it's Saturday night. The hotel detective - he was outta sight!"
Theory One is that the hotel detective was "outta sight", meaning good, exceeding expectations, or of particular usefulness to the band. Adherents believe that the hotel detective might have chosen to look the other way while debauchery ensued in the Railroad's lodgings, perhaps because of a bribe of money, substances, groupie services, or a promise to thank him on later albums.
Theory Two is that the hotel detective was literally nowhere to be found, thus "out of sight."
Some conflict-avoidant scholars argue that the results would be the same either way. Whether the hotel detective was complicit in the shenanigans or was physically absent is meaningless since drummer Brewer, guitarist Mark Farmer, bassist Mel Schacher, and keyboard player Craig Frost all got to join in on the hotel tearing-down proceedings.
Proponents of the first theory contend that if the detective were actually not visible then the band could have substituted the line "The hotel dick was nowhere in sight", a line that would have scanned nicely.
Theory Two fans say that listeners might naturally wonder where the hotel detective was during the rendezvous with the "chiquitas from Omaha" and that the line explains he was gone.
Brewer himself is no help, but he does explain the line about Freddie King ("I've got to tell you, poker's his thing"):
"Freddie King was the opening act for us, the great Blues guitar player from Texas. It always struck me as funny that he would make his band play poker with him every night. We used to sit in on some of the poker games, and that's where that line came from. His band, he'd pay them, and then he'd go win all the money back so they were broke and they'd have to keep playing for him - it was a great deal. A lot of people don't understand the Freddie King part because they don't know who Freddie King is. Anybody who knows about Freddie King immediately picks it up. People who don't say, 'What are you saying, that Focus can't sing?'" One thing that can't be argued is "American Band"'s rightful place, along with Mountain's "Mississippi Queen", in the Cowbell Pantheon.
See also: Grand Funk Railroad, Photo courtesy Messy OpticsLabels: pop
Gaylords of Desire
 The ancient and mysterious Gaylord apartment building is visible from the roof of my office. A friend suggests that if there were ever a portal to the Twilight Zone, it would be the Gaylord.
It stands across from the site of the former Ambassador Hotel on Wilshire Blvd. and is home to porn directors, hookers, coke dealers and affable retirees who have no idea.
The Gaylord is attached to an excellent bar called the HMS Bounty. To use the restroom, one must walk upstairs from the Bounty, cross the marble lobby of the Gaylord, and then go down a flight of stairs. The last time I did this, I was standing at the sink and a voice from a nearby stall said (and I don't think to me), "I'm cold inside."
I took this photograph two nights ago. As is normal with spiritually troubled places, the angel only appeared later.
Nice timing, pal.Labels: los angeles
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust
 A Google search for "Yoko hatred" returned with 133,000 results ("Linda hatred" resulted in three, with none of those referring to Linda McCartney. Both "Linda Eastman hatred" and "Linda McCartney hatred" netted zero, which surprised me).
If anti-Yoko sentiment took hold shortly after John Lennon met her in November, 1966, reached a fever pitch when the Beatles broke up in 1970, and tapered off to the tune of 133,000 Google hits today, what would 1FABFAN make of the fact that gas prices have gone up over 700 percent since their November, 1966 average of .32?
Probably nothing, because it was Paul's fault.Labels: commerce, los angeles, pop
Vurping Koreatown
 One of my favorite restaurants in Los Angeles is Cassell's on Sixth Street in Koreatown. It has the best potato salad I have ever eaten.
Today I had a burger, fried zucchini, potato salad, and a cherry Coke there with a dear childhood friend and returned to my office, then drank some water.
"Big lunch," I said to myself, when I burped and threw up in my mouth.
I remained calm and kept my mouth shut. I got the restroom key. I walked on down the hall. I spat out the vurp contents. I came back to the office and reflected.
"I still like their potato salad," I thought.Labels: food, los angeles
Fog on the Barrow Downs
 I wonder if I will ever hate Los Angeles; I know a lot of people who came here for one thing, didn't get to do it, and had no affection for the city to fall back on. I came here to be a jockey but my dreams were crushed. Luckily, six years in, I still get random opportunities to be reminded what a great place this is, despite its lack of snow, worthwhile public transportation, and Puerto Ricans.
Here is Highland Avenue just after midnight this morning. I took the picture while I was driving.Labels: geekery, los angeles
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