Well, in that case, Pluto declares Earth no longer a planet
With today's ruling by the International Astronomical Union that Pluto is no longer a planet, ending a 75-year stint in that exclusive club, a few things occurred to me.My eighth grade science teacher, Mr. Lherault, was lying.
"He was just following orders," you might say. "He was working with the information he was given."
That's all well and good, or good and well, if you like alphabetical order, until someone dies.
Not that anyone is dead. But the question is: Can I sue Mr. Lherault? I really want to explore a career in nuisance lawsuits.
Remember all those Red Sox fans who died between 1919 and 2003, thus never seeing their team win a World Series, and how their survivors placed little Red Sox flags by their graves when, in 2004, the Sox finally won it?
We should exhume them and send them to Pluto.
Will people for whom Pluto is an essential part of their horoscope now begin acting erratically?
The mnemonic for the obsoleted nine-planet solar system went like this:
- My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets
The first deals with the sudden inability, in class, to stand and give an oral report:
- My Very Excitable Member Just Shot Up Noisily
- Most Vagrants Exhibit Manners Just So Unbelievably Noxious
- Munched Vixen Encounters Murderous Jaws Shark Under Nightfall
- My Vagina Emits Murky Juices So U No
- Mesmerized Vietnamese Enthusiastically Maul Jiggly Stripper's Undulating Nipples
posted
by Marty Barrett at Thursday, August 24, 2006
3 Comments:
Here is my stance on the terrorist plot against our precious fluids.
-Mike Valdez Endures Muderous Jihadist's Slanderous Utterances Nobly
oh my god, you just made me snarf my milk
I believe your statement that Red Sox fans who died between 1919 and 2003 may be false. I'm sure quite a few managed to witness one or more of their many World Series wins.
Many Very Enthusiastic Members Joined Sox Uber Nation
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