Jaws Returns
I was discussing with my east coast attorney David Coleman the merits and demerits of Superman Returns and he told me that the movie was actually the natural successor to Superman 2 that posited the existence of a world in which the disappointing Supermans 3 and 4 never existed.What other 70's movie that grew into a four-installment series could benefit from the removal of numbers 3 and 4 from its catalogue?
Jaws.
In Jaws Returns, Bruce the Shark swims back to Amity Island, having never said a proper goodbye to Chief Martin Brody. In the first half hour, a spectacular sequence reminiscent of a scene from the first movie, in this case the July 4th parade, is amped up and updated. Jaws makes it onto shore and eats the high school marching band.
"You're gonna need a bigger float," he quips, in the movie's one adjustment to the shark's character (he can talk!) a la Superman now being able to catch one in the eye.
I picture a faithful portrayal and dead-on impersonation of Brody by Steven Colbert and a check-cashing interpretation of Quint by Johnny Depp. James Marsden plays Hooper, again squeezed out of the love triangle formed by himself, the Chief, and my friend Christy Kallhovd as Ellen Brody.
Jeffrey Kramer, the original movie's Hendricks, makes a sympathetic stunt casting cameo as a calligraphy instructor.
"I'll do the printing," he says to the cheers of five percent of the audience that gets it.
My team has already worked up some graphics at great expense. I think we could open big with this.
At the end of the movie, Jaws swims away again, establishing territoriality - just a theory I happen to agree with - around Amity Island. He becomes a Christlike protector of its people, even as he sacrifices his love for Brody in the bargain.
"Will I see you again?" Brody asks from the prow of a sinking ship.
"I'll be around," Bruce says. "I'm just going into the pond."
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by Marty Barrett at Friday, June 30, 2006
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