Good Night, Moon: I'll see you in Hell
ACI is very fond of Margaret Wise Brown's book "Good Night, Moon" and will often request in her delightful way that I read it to her.As much as I love my daughter, I cannot help but point out the book's many lapses in logic, judgment, and reality.
First off, there is a baby who has to say "good night" to every goddamn thing in the fucking world before he goes to bed. That's bullshit.
The baby and its lazy and emotionally distant caregiver are portrayed by rabbits. Did you think you could justify your nihilistic worldview by making this book an allegory? Who are you, Karl Marx? Jesus? What can a child learn from dead people?
There is a grandmotherly woman saying "Hush." Shut the fuck up, old woman. Where are the parents? At a rave? I can guarantee that neither of Marisol's grandmothers would get away with saying "Hush". We'd slap the taste out of their mouths.
A bowl of mush is left on the night-table to rot. I don't work at this fucking computer all day just so you can waste your oatmeal.
There are some kittens playing on the floor with a pair of mittens. What kind of Christless world is that where rabbits are given dominion over cats? Only if the kittens rise up and mutilate the rabbits could justice be done.
There is a cow jumping over the moon. Way to teach my daughter about plagiarism, ya douchebag!
Near the end, there is a blank page with the caption "Good night, nobody." I am assuming that the artist, Clement Hurd, was too drunk to draw that day. That Brown compensates by identifying a yawning void that provides my daughter precious seedlings of an inevitable despair is just irresponsible. Thanks a fucking lot. Now we don't have to read "The Stranger" until she's in kindergarten.
All in all, "Good Night, Moon" is a very satisfying work, save for those minor issues that I hope will be addressed in later editions.
I think it's important, also, not to indulge a tot's vanity by providing a choice between a brush and a comb - choices available to the spoiled little rabbit who is really asking for it by the end of the book.
I use a comb. That should be good enough for anybody.
posted
by Marty Barrett at Friday, January 20, 2006
5 Comments:
I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while. Aimée is past her "Goodnight Moon" phase, but of course, while she'll never remember it, I am cursed with knowing every word and page by heart. We should make a musical out of that book. Goodnight Moon Tunes, or Moon-ical!, or Bed Side Story, or Bunny Girl, or Dreambunnies, or my favorite, Shut the fuck up, old woman.
"Shut the fuck up, old woman!- The Musical" I like the title. I'd pay to see that.
Near the end, there is a blank page with the caption "Good night, nobody." I am assuming that the artist, Clement Hurd, was too drunk to draw that day. That Brown compensates by identifying a yawning void that provides my daughter precious seedlings of an inevitable despair is just irresponsible. Thanks a fucking lot. Now we don't have to read "The Stranger" until she's in kindergarten.
I read this to Alexa everynight.. even though she does not enjoy the read, more than she just likes to turn the pages (before I get a chance to read the f-ing thing... notice no swear words I don't want to get in trouble from Deena...)
Anywho, I too HATE the page where I am saying goodnight to NOBODY... think of all that quality time we have wasted by reading that fucked up page... hours of hours of time I could have spend with Alexa, riding ponies and shit like that :)
something about all he could hope for was to be greeted by cries of execration...I was JUST thinking of that sentence today...and David Coleman also...and Marisol...WOW..Oblks
"Riding Ponies And Shit Like That" sounds like a really good sequel to "Tuesdays with Morrie".
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home