Blurbotron

I am so fond of Marty Barrett and his way with the English language that I truly did not mind when he blew up the Sun.-Paul Gaita, Los Angeles

Tempus Fugit

Oyez

Iron Lung capsule reviews: Everyone Loves "Precious"

Confinement in an iron lung makes it difficult to get to the movies, so I often watch films months or even years after their release via services like Netflix and Hulu, where I can enjoy the comforts of home as well as a grounded 120v outlet to maintain basic life functions.

Star Gabourey Sidibe gained more than 400 pounds in a lifetime of preparation for her title role, which garnered her a 2009 Best Actress Academy Award nomination. Continue reading Iron Lung capsule reviews: Everyone Loves “Precious”

What public restrooms say about evolution

I found this hyper-evolved superbeing on a restroom door in Los Angeles.

It has often been said that science fiction says more about the time that it was created than the future world it seeks to illuminate. The 60′s haircuts in “2001: A Space Odyssey,” for example.

But I find it intriguing that we see who we are to become in a place where we get rid of what we were. Continue reading What public restrooms say about evolution

Children to Arizona: We're not soda

You know, you’ve got to help me out.

Traveling to Arizona, when the California side of the Colorado River is an arctic 99 degrees, and everything to the east is despair and torment and 115 degrees, requires some mental preparation.

It was only recently that Harrison admitted that he was singing “I’m not a soda.” Marisol, on the other hand, enunciates everything.

Jahrsehnsuchtkunftig: Arbitrary nostalgia for the future

At my last birthday, one of the comforting thoughts that crossed my mind was the knowledge that I had successfully passed the future date of my death 40 times.

“There has got to be a word for that,” I thought. Continue reading Jahrsehnsuchtkunftig: Arbitrary nostalgia for the future

Mystery Shrouds Koreatown Toilet Atrocity

Like the Lost Colony of Roanoke, that party of British settlers that disappeared in 1587, there is little evidence to suggest the disposition of whomever left protective papers on this toilet in the second floor men’s room of my office building in Koreatown. Continue reading Mystery Shrouds Koreatown Toilet Atrocity

On owning the Cat of the Day

Frampton, who is more an Athenian Ideal than a cat, was proclaimed Cat of the Day today by the International Pet of the Day Foundation, which also bestows daily honors on dogs, rabbits, and, I’m assuming, worthy tapeworms. Continue reading On owning the Cat of the Day

Pilgrimage for a decapitated saint

Santa Barbara, beheaded by her dad for her devotion to God, is the namesake of the city I will visit this weekend for the first annual Santa Barbara Minute Film Festival, which I have the honor of hosting. Continue reading Pilgrimage for a decapitated saint

21st-century screwdriver


I fixed the ringer of my 1972-vintage Stromberg-Carlson rotary phone by employing something called a flathead screwdriver that I was loaned by a local museum of anthropology. Continue reading 21st-century screwdriver

Fogelfoot Friday Fais Do Do

Satan/Songwriters Fogelfoot returns to the glorious and exotic Club Fais Do Do this Friday for a very special evening of whimsy, despair, chicken licks, time travel, and emotional ambiguity. Continue reading Fogelfoot Friday Fais Do Do

It Does Matter What They Say: Remembering the Easter Earthquake

We were watching Go Go’s videos when the quake struck. It was a 7.2 temblor originating 250 miles south in the exotic country of Mexico. Continue reading It Does Matter What They Say: Remembering the Easter Earthquake